Everybody Has Their Thing
Everybody has something.
Some people’s issues are on the inside. Some are visible to the wide world. Accepting this is part of dealing with your life and loving yourself and others. You cannot stand in your power if you're hiding from the truth of who you are - ALL of who you are.
I love this (above) from Brené Brown. Yes to understanding that shame - especially the kind that is unwarranted and applied by society - needs be released through conversation and sharing until it is loved right out of your life.
In our society, hair really does matter. When someone has cancer, losing their hair is documented as one of the most traumatic things about the experience. The good news is that through community and by showing empathy, those going through chemo have allies. They now shave their heads on video and friends and family shave their heads in solidarity.
But what if your hair loss is genetic? In western society, women just do not generally walk around bald. Maybe on the runway, maybe in protest, but not as moms, wives and employees. So making yourself vulnerable by putting your thinning hair out there is a risk and it's scary, to say the least.
You can have any number of addictions or personal "sins," but as long as people cannot see them, they might as well not exist. Someone's whole persona can be destroyed through ridicule of their outward appearance while others easily walk around with their internal issues hidden from the world. When your issue is a physical one, you wear it.
Aren't we supposed to be about acceptance and inclusion? I know this sounds naïve, and I'm far from naïve, but it bugs me that we have a reflex for ridicule. We can do better.
So what do you do to drag your thinning hair feelings into the light of day (even if you do it just by yourself first)?
- Get Some Help - open up to your doctor, your hairdresser and your best friend. You'll immediately start to feel better.
- Identify the Right Resources. I have some here on my site and will continue to add to them. Do your homework, but don't send yourself down a rabbit hole. Hair loss is a part of your life. It's not your whole life and it doesn't summarize YOU.
- Stop hiding. You'd be amazed how little people are judging you, and those who do should be ignored. There's a lot of kindness out there AND everyone is living their own lives. Don't put yours on hold.
- Find other people like you - like us. This is the very definition of community, folks! Welcome aboard.
- Learn to talk to professionals, like doctors of all stripes and caring, talented hairdressers.
- Try new things. I'm talking about recommended and trusted new products and techniques and NEW THINGS. You want to learn to snowboard? DO IT!
It takes strength to love yourself. Do not reject yourself – own who you are and work with what you have.
Don’t worry about being judged or not accepted because people can see your scalp. Everyone has their issues – most people’s you just can’t see.